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Ask Freda Fencepost

Posted on 11 November, 2014 at 9:00 Comments comments (0)

Dear Freda Fencepost:

I'm about to get married and am happy beyond reasoning that I've found a woman I can spend the rest of my life with, the only hitch is she hates my dog.  Every day we sit down and chat about what our life is going to be like after the wedding, and she has made it clear that Macho my 8 year old blue heeler will not be permitted in the bed, on the couch, or in the truck,he cannot be allowed access to her perfectly planned flower garden, and will be required to be quiet and well behaved at all times...I'm not sure he's up to this, and I can't bear the thought of giving him up...What should I do?

Signed,

In the Dog House


Dear In the Dog House:

You DO have a dilemma! While people relationships are usually priority (eg, swapping your wife for a fish is considered to be a bad move under most circumstances), A MAN'S RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS DOG IS SACRED. If your woman loves you, understands you and wants to be with the REAL you, then she's gonna have to take you two as a package deal. Trust me, if you sacrifice your dog for the sake of your sex life, you will live to regret it and will resent the heck out of that fabulous woman of yours. Plenty of people (and dogs) would rather have a HOME than a picture perfect HOUSE and in the long run you two are probably not going to survive the messy parts of marriage if you can't work this one out to your mutual satisfaction.  Good Luck!

Signed,

Freda Fencepost

Ask Freda Fencepost

Posted on

Back by popular demand after a 10 year sabbatical - Freda Fencepost is here to give you  advice on all your relationship challenges - Metis style!


Dear Freda Fencepost:

My common-law wife is a great cook - but I can't get her to do the dishes right after supper! I've told her and told her that my mom ALWAYS did the dishes right after supper, but she just doesn't listen. In fact, when I tell her this, she usually just gives me a dirty look and calls her sister.  What can I do?

Signed, 

Need a Better Trained Woman


Dear Need a Better Trained Woman, 

This may come as a shock, but its 2014. I think you missed the memo that went out to all Metis men in 1995 which clearly stated that whoever cooks does not need to do the dishes. I feel your pain, but I'm telling you honestly...your wife got the memo. My advice to you is to either bribe a nearby relative who is in dire need of lunch money, or better yet...offer to do the dishes yourself! (You may find that your wife is willing to do more than cook for you when she sees you with a dish towel in your hand....SEXY!)

Signed,

Freda Fencepost


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